The Big Book calls Step 4 a “fact-finding and fact-facing process.” In my experience, this Step—and Step 5—are a “pattern-finding process” too. When I look at the past actions I’m not proud of, and share them with another person, I see the “corroding thread” of fear connecting them. At a deeper level, I see my “sacred wounds”—the places in my soul where I am damaged and in need of repair—in all of them.
Taking these Steps in AA forced me to face my irresponsibility about money, including maxed-out credit cards, late bills, and “terminal vagueness” about where my dollars were going. I had to connect with another wonderful program, Debtors Anonymous, to come to grips with these troubles. On Saturday, January 18, I’ll talk about pattern-finding in these Steps and share some of my DA experiences too.
As codependents, we attach ourselves to others in unhealthy ways. As recovering co-dependents we need to learn methods of detaching in a respectful and loving manner. On January 18, please come hear my story of how I’m learning and practicing "detaching with love."