I've always struggled with the phrase "the proper use of the will." Every time I think I "get it," I'm whacked by the pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization that comes from another failed attempt to run the show.
And I'd be lying if I told you that I failed to figure out God's will in those situations, because that implies that I really tried to—when in fact I just kept trying to find a better way to work my own will.
Eventually, like so many others, I had no option left but to try the meditation portion of Step Eleven. Here’s what I discovered when I did that: in order to have access to a power that works, I didn’t have to improve anything or seek the right knowledge; all I had to do was show up and consent. For me, that was when the real healing and growth began in my recovery.
I’ll say more about Step 11 on Saturday, April 13—join me.